Jan. 11th, 2008

notesinblue: (rage)
i just remembered why i hate the princess of cups. why her abandonment and treatment of me falls into the realm of unforgivable instead of merely crappy.

fishing through a box, looking for something else, i came across the letter she wrote me on 12/11/06 pledging her love as my best friend. december fucking eleventh. almost exactly a month later i wrote this. a few weeks after that we had our disastrous "last dinner".

the fact that she was my closest friend, my best friend, and that she left me when i needed her most is horrid. the fact that she said so many awful things, and was downright horrific to me, is deplorable. but the fact that she did all of that after writing me the letter that she did is downright unforgivable. i wish i could share it with the empress as a warning, but it would just seem like pettiness or some other bile filled emotion. but the fact is i want to warn her. i want to warn everyone who crosses her path. i want to stitch a big crimson letter in all of her clothing so that everyone will know what she did to me, and know to stay away. but i can't.

and i have to see her on saturday.

i told the empress i'd play nice when she told me the princess would be at her party, and i meant it. i had no desire to see her or speak to her, but i didn't feel the need to leap up and slap the crap out of her on sight either. but now, with my memory jogged, i'm not sure i'll be able to keep my promise. i'll stay cool and ignore her. but she'll do something. a look. or heaven forbid, an attempt at conversation. and that will be it. i'll crucify her. i will rip her the fuck apart. and i'll be happy to do it.

maybe i should arrive terribly late or leave terribly early.

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notesinblue

January 2013

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