notesinblue (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
notesinblue) wrote2007-09-02 10:32 pm
notesinblue) wrote2007-09-02 10:32 pm
Entry tags:
construction time again
this past year i can't shake the feeling that my life, my situation, is a work in progress.
moved in more of my things and my loft is in disarray. i want to organize, nest, but there are papers to write.
mom is painting the guest room. i joked about painting mine. she said i could. it stopped me. possibility. now i'm strongly considering it. i was never allowed to paint the walls in my own house. the emperor preferred clean white walls. i wanted to paint vivid colors. but he liked everything cold and sterile. so white it stayed. maybe i'll paint their walls instead. maybe that makes this place more of a home than my own house ever was. maybe that's what family means. maybe family means paint chips, fumes, and that sticky sound of rollers across walls.
moved in more of my things and my loft is in disarray. i want to organize, nest, but there are papers to write.
mom is painting the guest room. i joked about painting mine. she said i could. it stopped me. possibility. now i'm strongly considering it. i was never allowed to paint the walls in my own house. the emperor preferred clean white walls. i wanted to paint vivid colors. but he liked everything cold and sterile. so white it stayed. maybe i'll paint their walls instead. maybe that makes this place more of a home than my own house ever was. maybe that's what family means. maybe family means paint chips, fumes, and that sticky sound of rollers across walls.