word therapy

today was the emperor's birthday. i was the victim of his malice in court last thursday and have to see him this tuesday and thursday as well. i'm saturated in his hatred. but i'm living. been pouring all my energy into writing. haven't done a single iota of homework in two weeks. no reading. no papers. to say i'm behind is an understatement. but i don't care. i'm just trying to survive. and so far, i'm making it. i'm tuned out from everything right now, except writing. even though the constant writing is exhausting it's sustaining me like oxygen. every step i take toward a finished novel is a step away from my fear of him and the future. nothing can take this away from me. not school. not court. and certainly not him. so long as i have my pen i'll survive. fuck the rest.