Jul. 15th, 2006

notesinblue: (prose)
dear emperor,

stop taking my fucking car. we're going on three days in a row. it's pissing me off. no means no you son of a bitch. i don't care if you're the one who pays the bills - it's my car. fix yours or get a new one, but stop taking mine. especially when i'm too damn sick to drive to the store in 100 degree weather without AC. i can't take yours - stop taking mine! i hate being stranded because you feel entitled. it causes me unbelievable stress knowing that i can't leave my house and that you're probably driving like an asshole in my car. fuck you. fuck you very much. oh, and one more thing, fix your fucking brakes. i almost killed myself driving your damn car to buy orange juice.

sincerely, the owner of the black VW


dear princess of disks,

i'm not who i was. it is not 1995. please try to understand that times have changed, and so has our relationship. i can't fill up the emptiness and i can't be your life - i have my own. i know you need me. i don't need you. don't try to force things back to the way they were, you'll be disappointed and hurt. build something new if you want. i'm alright with that. but if you try and cram yourself into every facet of my life i will shut you out in the cold.

no, you can't come back to game. no, i won't start a new one just for us 'girls'. (by the way, if you knew me better you would stop phrasing things like that. i've never had a girls vs. boys attitude like you and i'm not on your side anyway.) no, i'm not writing my next novel about something we created in high school. no, you can't hang out over here every day because your new house doesn't have AC. no, you can't sleep over all the time like 'the good ol' days'. no, you most certainly cannot join writing group. and no, you're not still my close, trusted, number one friend. you were the closest thing i had to a sister, but the answer is still no.

you dragged me out shopping for a new backpack when i was obviously trying not to fall over from illness. i stood next to you, burning with fever, as you debated your decision for nearly an hour. my phone rang. it was my real true blue best buddy. you laughed and asked in jest if i could handle two of you. i almost choked. no. no, i can't. what you fail to realize is that if cuts are made, it's you not her. it's true that you and her are similar, but you're not the same. notably she's part of my present while you are rooted in my past. and there's a reason for that. i'm sorry.

regretfully, Jack


dear illness,

get out. seriously. get the fuck out. this is an eviction notice. i've got shit to do other than struggle for breath and choke on my own fluids. go away. fuck off. leave me alone.

- Jack


dear princess of cup's family,

stop being drama. can't you see she and i need a drama free week? you're sapping her dry. it's uncool. and on a selfish note i miss my friend. so how about showing some familial compassion and let the girl go home and relax. just because she's unemployed doesn't mean she's your doorstop or that she's not busy. now kindly take your family to the shelter where they can get the care they need and stop running my kind hearted friend into the ground. it's the right thing to do for everyone involved. honest.

sincerely, Jack

two songs

Jul. 15th, 2006 06:28 pm
notesinblue: (happy)
i've been listening to the following two songs for two days now. they resonate. i record them here for future reflection.

crazy - Gnarls Barclay
i remember when, i remember,
i remember when i lost my mind.
there was something so pleasant about that place,
even your emotions had an echo, in so much space.

and when you're out there, without care,
yeah, i was out of touch
but it wasn't because i didn't know enough,
i just knew too much.

does that make me crazy?
does that make me crazy?
does that make me crazy?
probably.

and i hope you are having the time of your life,
but think twice. that's my only advice.

come on now, who do you, who do you,
who do you, who do you think you are?
ha ha ha, bless your soul.
you really think you're in control,
well,

i think you're crazy.
i think you're crazy.
i think you're crazy.
just like me.

my heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
and all I remember is thinkin', I want to be like them

ever since i was little,
ever since i was little,
it looked like fun.
and it's no coincidence i've come
and i can die when i'm done.

but maybe I'm crazy.
maybe you're crazy.
maybe we're crazy.
probably.


&

single - Natasha Bedingfield
i'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(cos i'm happy where i am)
don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
i don't need to be anyone's baby
(is that so hard to understand?)
no i don't need another half to make me whole

make your move if you want doesn't mean i will or won't
i'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

[chorus:]
this is my current single status
my declaration of independence
there's no way i'm tradin' places
right now a star's in the ascendant

i'm single
(right now)
that's how i wanna be
i'm single
(right now)
that's how i wanna be

ah yeah, uh huh, that's right

don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(i like who i am)
i'm not saying i don't wanna fall in love 'cos i would
i'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say i should
(can't romance on demand)
i'm gonna wait, so i'm sorry if you misunderstood

[chorus]

everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
i know i'll settle down one day
but 'til then i like it this way it's my way
eh I like it this way

[chorus]

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