just like a man

i'm standing in Target with my mother and grandmother as they discuss hair dye. my mom turns to me, chiding, and comments that she's surprised i didn't say anything about her new hair color, after all, it's much lighter now. (i still don't really notice a difference.) i stare at her a moment, appraising, and say that i suppose it is indeed lighter and that i really don't notice things like that. she laughs and says, 'you're just like a man'. i respond, 'why thank you'. and she turns beet red. i think she actually forgot. again. my grandmother, for her part, failed to even register the conversation at all. as we were walking out my grandma asked me what i was getting my degree in. same thing i've been getting it in for the past five years, grandma.

i hope i take after my father as i age, and can actually remember important shit about the people i care about. the idea of being so stuck in my own head i can't remember basic shit about the ones i love makes my stomach do a little flip. does that make me more of a guy or just a better person? i tend to think it's the latter, but in my family i have to wonder if it's the former. the M women love to portray an exterior of deep caring while remaining, in actuality, comfortably oblivious and detached. the S men don't pretend to care when they don't. and when they seem interested they are. i blame social expectations and upbringing. i send out a tiny prayer to remain honest both about my detachment and my interest.

and because this quiz goes so well with my entry:

( Which Gender Are You? ) why am i not surprised...