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i wasn't afraid as we climbed over the fence, disregarding signs and potential consequence. i felt calm, still. you've done it a hundred times, but i could tell you were more nervous than i. there were more lights on than usual, it was a risky day and time, and i think part of you was apprehensive for me. when we reached the tall chain-link fence you squared your feet and and offered me a boost. i surprised you by maneuvering over and around it easily, without aid. i think i would surprise you a lot if you gave me the opportunity.
they had new gates put in on the stairwells, and you were caught off guard. our progress halted. you saw a way to avoid the obstacle, a pipe. it was easy for you, but you knew i couldn't follow. so you climbed up and opened the gate for me, before i could protest. we were lucky there was no alarm. it looked like the type of gate to hold one. but you opened it without pause. and then we climbed stair after stair. i'll admit i was winded an embarrassing amount. on the fifth flight i swore to get in better shape. one day i'd like to be able to keep up with you.
the top was worth the climb. the city stretched out beneath us, the lights tinting the overcast night sky rosy. we were so high above the ground, and when i leaned out over the edge it made my heart thump and my legs quiver. the football field looked like a perfect playing board for a game played by gods. i looked out over it all and was a part of your world. this is where you dwell, in the high and secret places. these are the things that make your heart race and make you smile.
you held me close as we looked out upon it. you held my hand in your own rough one, our fingers intertwined. i tucked in close and breathed in the smell of you as i watched cars pass in the distance like toys. it was a perfect moment, a happy moment, and i found myself torn on whether i wanted it to continue forever or be over before my heart began to sink.
i say good-bye to you in one week. it makes my heart hurt when i think of it. yet, waiting for your departure is like waiting for an execution, and part of me looks forward to your exit so that i can anticipate your return. i look forward to that day the way children wait for Christmas, even if i do have to wait until the months stretch on and the seasons chill, freeze, and thaw. i want you to get your head in order, let go of your fears, breathe, and come home safe and renewed. then maybe, just maybe, you might be ready to take a chance on me. and i want to be someone worth taking a chance on by the time you return. it's a long shot. it's a one in a million at best. but it's not impossible, and that possibility lends me much needed fire.
when i dropped you off you seemed happy. you said that it had been good, and you meant it. we were a couple tonight, no matter how unofficially, and i think you saw it. i hope we can be again before you go. you said the same, but i know it is unlikely you will find the time. still, you want to, which warms me. no matter what happens we had tonight, if even for only one moment. i'll try to hold onto it, and i hope you do too. and once you're gone i'll continue to visit you. i'll go back to that place by myself and see you reflected in the city below. i'll hop the fence, climb the pipe, and scale the stairs, until i reach the top. and in that manner i will see you again. just as i hope you see me in a storm cloud rolling through London. i love you.
they had new gates put in on the stairwells, and you were caught off guard. our progress halted. you saw a way to avoid the obstacle, a pipe. it was easy for you, but you knew i couldn't follow. so you climbed up and opened the gate for me, before i could protest. we were lucky there was no alarm. it looked like the type of gate to hold one. but you opened it without pause. and then we climbed stair after stair. i'll admit i was winded an embarrassing amount. on the fifth flight i swore to get in better shape. one day i'd like to be able to keep up with you.
the top was worth the climb. the city stretched out beneath us, the lights tinting the overcast night sky rosy. we were so high above the ground, and when i leaned out over the edge it made my heart thump and my legs quiver. the football field looked like a perfect playing board for a game played by gods. i looked out over it all and was a part of your world. this is where you dwell, in the high and secret places. these are the things that make your heart race and make you smile.
you held me close as we looked out upon it. you held my hand in your own rough one, our fingers intertwined. i tucked in close and breathed in the smell of you as i watched cars pass in the distance like toys. it was a perfect moment, a happy moment, and i found myself torn on whether i wanted it to continue forever or be over before my heart began to sink.
i say good-bye to you in one week. it makes my heart hurt when i think of it. yet, waiting for your departure is like waiting for an execution, and part of me looks forward to your exit so that i can anticipate your return. i look forward to that day the way children wait for Christmas, even if i do have to wait until the months stretch on and the seasons chill, freeze, and thaw. i want you to get your head in order, let go of your fears, breathe, and come home safe and renewed. then maybe, just maybe, you might be ready to take a chance on me. and i want to be someone worth taking a chance on by the time you return. it's a long shot. it's a one in a million at best. but it's not impossible, and that possibility lends me much needed fire.
when i dropped you off you seemed happy. you said that it had been good, and you meant it. we were a couple tonight, no matter how unofficially, and i think you saw it. i hope we can be again before you go. you said the same, but i know it is unlikely you will find the time. still, you want to, which warms me. no matter what happens we had tonight, if even for only one moment. i'll try to hold onto it, and i hope you do too. and once you're gone i'll continue to visit you. i'll go back to that place by myself and see you reflected in the city below. i'll hop the fence, climb the pipe, and scale the stairs, until i reach the top. and in that manner i will see you again. just as i hope you see me in a storm cloud rolling through London. i love you.
