relapse

[notesinblue]

i was doing so much better this morning. but ever since it got dark, and everyone went to bed, i've felt that tightness in my chest caused by grief. i think i'm going through another bout of depression. i'm feeling lost and abandon again. i hate that it keeps coming back, again and again. i want to be done with feeling like this. i want to be happy and stay that way. i want to stop missing my old life.

*pauses to listen to music*
wow. these lyrics are rather appropriate:

no more trust, I was betrayed
by a friend I thought I knew
I have lost so much more
don’t know what to do
and that single thought evoked
a pained look behind closed eyes
and I’ll always wonder why
my best friend would tell me lies
- A Dream, Funker Vogt