his name means rebirth

no one understands, but it's my fault because i'm too ashamed to admit the truth. no one would believe me even if i told them, or if they did they wouldn't fully understand. they can't. i'm the only one who has seen his true face. i've seen the truth, and it cut right through me in a way i could never explain.

i'm in love with him. i always have been.

it's silly. illogical. stupid. even crazy. but love often is. and there is no denying her once she has sucked you under. and i, oh i went under longer ago than i could ever admit aloud. i went under and now i'm drowning. all for the love of a man too conflicted to bring me back to life, out of fear his breath may not be enough.